This story begins almost a year ago, when my rheumatologist wrote out the pathology requests for tests to do before I see him again this month.
It should be straightforward - a set of blood tests that require fasting, and a poo test.
Fast forward about six months, and I went to the doctors for a fresh prescription. My usual gp was away, and the one I saw decided I should probably have a cholesterol test. She said not to worry about an extra trip to pathology. She said not to worry, save it until May when I was doing my other tests.
So today came. I skipped breakfast, just drank warm water to try to get things moving.
Normally, I have breakfast, and need to poo almost as soon as I've finished.
No breakfast, no poo.
So, it was 11.20am before I could go to the pathology collection place. Then I had to wait my turn. It was 11.50am before I got in.
First issue. Medicare rules don't allow pathology orders from two doctors on the same day. So I said skip the one from the fill-in GP, just do my specialist's ones.
Second issue: Have I been fasting? Yes, I have.
When did I last eat? Well, I went to bed about 7pm, so it was a bit before that.
She can't do my tests.
I've fasted too long. All the results will be messed up. I can't fast more than 16 hours.
What am I doing tomorrow?
Seeing my GP.
What time? 8.15am. I could do the test after that.
Could I go to bed later than 7pm? Not if I want to get up in the morning.
Then I'd do the test before the doctor. I can stop in at 8am and do my blood tests on the way there, she'll make sure I'm the first patient through so I can get to the doctor in time.
All of which means I didn't get to eat until lunchtime today, and tomorrow's not shaping up to give me the chance to eat before lunchtime either.
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