Tuesday, 4 February 2020

I've done it all wrong, again

Their email:
In today’s digital world if you want to stay ahead of competition, you should always be prepared to overcome new updates by Google and be ready with new strategies to implement. 

I have a complete analysis report ready with me which shows your website needs immediate improvement. Some of the points are mentioned below: 

  • Due to poor and unauthorized link sites.
  • Relevant keyword phrases are not visible on first page listing.
  • Due to HTML validation errors and warnings present in website.
  • Your website is not search engine friendly.
  • Website content quality is not high standard.
  • Website is having on-page and on-site issues.
Our experienced Google Analytics professional understand all recent updates. We will prepare an advanced digital marketing campaign to generate maximum traffic and boost your search engine ranking.
For more details please reply. We have 24*7 supports, so you can contact any point of time with your website issues.
Thanks & Regards,

My reply:

Hello Linda,

If you’d read my site you would realise that I usually make fun of emails such as yours for the entertainment of my readers. 

Let’s look at your complaints, starting with content quality.  This site is about my life as a person living with a chronic life-endangering disease.  I’m sorry if you don’t find my life of sufficient quality for your standards.  You are not my target audience.  Other people who do live with lupus understand and relate to my struggles.  Some of them even find some comfort in finding they are not alone facing this horror that our lives have become.

Relevant keyword phrases are not visible of first page listing.  I don’t know what you think is relevant.  If you were looking for the keyword “lupus”,  you’d have found it.

Now on to HTML errors, on-page and onsite issues.  Well those aren’t me.  That’s the blogger platform.  You should address your suggestions to Google, since they do that bit.

The website isn’t search-engine friendly.  Yet somehow you, who clearly don’t even know what it’s about, found it.  Again, all the technical bits are run by Google, so tell them what they need to do to make their stuff search engine friendly.  I’m sure they’ll find you just as amusing as I do.

Then there’s the unauthorised links.  I own this blog and I write it.  Anything I put on it, I authorised.

And now, can I make a suggestion to you?  If you want to look professional, and pretend you are part of an organisation (as in “our experienced….”) perhaps you could have something other than a personal gmail address?

Kindest regards
Iris Carden

1 comment:

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