I'm tired, really, really, incredibly, beyond words, tired. It's my own fault, of course.
Another "medically interesting" friend has been for quite some time asking me to go jet skiing with her.
All sorts of things have interfered with getting out, but finally, on Saturday, we managed to do it.
Despite my slipping on the riverbank and having an unexpected swimming lesson, it was a great day.
I covered up, doused myself in sunscreen, and did everything I reasonably could to minimise the damage. But really, there's no way to go out and do something like that with no consequences.
We had about 40 minutes on the water. By that time, my back, hips and knees couldn't have stayed in that position any longer. But it was starting to rain anyway.
On Saturday night everything hurt so much I needed a sleeping pill to get to sleep. I haven't had any trouble getting to sleep since. Staying awake? That's another matter.
On Sunday I did get to church. I had four cups of coffee beforehand, and took another with me to help me stay awake through the service, then had an extra cup before I drove home and went to sleep.
On Monday, I managed to get up, and with the help of rather a lot of coffee I did a load of wash, played with my granddaughter for about ten minutes and did some work on the current novel I'm writing for about a quarter of an hour. Then I went to sleep until my son woke me to tell me to take my lunchtime tablets. After lunch and tablets I found some appropriate television for sleeping in front of, and slept on the couch for the rest of the day.
It's Tuesday now. I've been up for two hours. If I make it to lunch time, I'll consider it a great achievement, because I'm utterly exhausted.
If I told this story to my rheumatologist I'd get his "stop trying to prove you can have a normal life" lecture. But do you know something? I think that once in a while, going out and doing something that's fun and is totally outside my normal routine is worth the consequences. This time the consequence is a few days (OK it might yet turn out to be a couple of weeks) of increased fatigue - which surprised me because I thought I might end up with a lot of extra pain and rashes as well.
I did it.
I thoroughly enjoyed it.
I don't regret it.
I might even do it again one day.
But right now, I need a nap.