Wednesday, 12 August 2015

Lupie Goes to Sleep

Brain: I'm so exhausted I can't fire another synapse.  Righto team.  This is it.  Lungs, a few deep relaxing breaths if you will, muscles, just relax and release everything.  It's all good.

Left Shoulder:  Sorry to interrupt, but I'm hurting.

Brain: Muscles around left shoulder, try tensing and then relaxing.  Better?

Left Shoulder: No.  Hurting. Pain pain pain pain pain.

Brain: Sorry, team, let's try moving to position B.

Lupie rolls over.

Brain: OK lungs a couple of more deep relaxing breaths and...

Left Shoulder: Pain pain pain pain pain.  Did I mention I'm in pain!

Brain: Sorry team, it looks like a trip to the medicine cabinet.

Right Eye: While we're there can we get some eye gel?  My lid feels like it's glued on.

Left Eye: Same here, and I'm all gritty and sore.

Nose: If we're doing all that, can I have a bit of nasal spray?  I'm all blocky, and if I don't get some help I'll be dripping down Throat soon and causing all kinds of trouble.

Brain: OK. Anyone else need anything from the medicine cupboard?  Right, lets go get pain pills, eye gel and nasal spray. Everyone up.

Right Ankle: Ouch

Left Ankle: Ouch

Right Ankle: Ouch

Left Ankle: Ouch

Brain: Are you guys going to do that the whole way to the medicine cupboard!

Right Ankle: Sorry. Ouch!

Left Ankle: Didn't mean to cause a bother. Ouch!

Brain:  You'll get some of the pain pill.

Right Ankle: Didn't want to complain, but Ouch!

Fully medicated, Lupie returns to bed.

Gut: Grumble, rumble, roll! Grrrrrrrrowwwwwwllllllllll! Hey Brain, did you authorise this chicken sandwich from lunchtime?

Brain: Yes but, they didn't have any gluten free options.

Gut:  Gurgle.  Sclurgle. Groan.  If there's nothing gluten free, we don't eat.

Brain: I know you don't like it, but it was time for pills, and we have to have food with pills.

Gut: Rrrrruruuuummmmmbbbbbbbbllllllleeeeee.  Weren't you going to keep an apple in the handbag for times like that?

Brain: Yes, that was the plan.  But I keep forgetting to do it.  I forget lots of things.

Gut: Glurge, gurgle.  Well, I can't process this.  I'm ejecting the lot, now.

Brain:  Brown alert! Brown alert!  Toilet now.  Move team, move!

Right Ankle: Ouch

Left Ankle: Ouch

Right Ankle: Ouch

Left Ankle: Ouch

Right Ankle: Ouch

Left Ankle: Ouch

Right Ankle: Ouch

Left Ankle: Ouch

Lupie makes it to the toilet in time, and half an hour later, much paler and shaking, returns to bed.

Brain:  OK Team, that was close, but we made it.  Gut, are you sure you're OK?

Gut:  A bit wobbly, but OK.  Just be careful at breakfast time.

Brain: Left Shoulder?

Left Shoulder:  It's kind of bearable. Pain scale maybe five out of ten.  Pretty good really.

Brain:  OK anyone else got anything to say?

Left Hip:  Well, I didn't want to mention it, and I know I didn't say anything earlier, but that painkiller hasn't helped me much at all.

Left Thumb: Yeah, I've got a bit of pain going on here as well.

Left Wrist:  Same here.

Right Big Toe:  Yeah, I'm   ....  crunch!  .... Oh no, I'm OK now.  Go ahead.

Brain: So we've got a bit of breakthrough pain.  We've slept through that before, we can do it tonight.  Lungs, deep relaxing breaths, if you will....


  1. And people wonder why I tired all the time.

  2. Oh my ! It's scary even in a funny way ! Claire

  3. Love reading your post!!! You hit it right spot on! Keep em coming


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