My first thought in response to that is "when did I last keep up with anyone or with anything?""Behind" is the basic way I live my life.
Unless people walk slower for me, I don't keep up when I'm out with family or friends. Most people slow down for me. My son just stops every now and then for me to catch up.
At the moment, my family and I are planning a trip to England to see my sister. One of the things we plan to do there is a visit to a zoo which has electric wheelchairs to loan to visitors who need them - we've decided we need to hire one of those. For once, I will keep up.
Of course, keeping up with people when I'm out isn't my only issue.
I get behind on most things. Today I cleaned the bathroom. I've been weeks intending to do it, but I've just run out of energy before I got to it. I used to get really frustrated at all the things that had to wait because I just got behind.
I guess I've just become used to it. I've stopped beating myself up over things.
I know I have to prioritise what things are most important at any given time. I break the most important tasks down into their smallest parts, and alternate between small parts of tasks and rest. Things that are low priorities usually don't end up being done.
Yes, I'm behind on all the things that need to be done. I probably always will be. Keeping up is unrealistic. But I've come to terms with that. My goal is to get by, to do what's necessary for survival, and just a little bit that I want to do more. That's enough.
I understand how you feel. I feel so wore out all of the time. People don't understand unless they have this disease. I just take it one day at a time, and do what I can. My faith in God keeps me going.
ReplyDeleteIt's good that you don't beat yourself up over it anymore! Especially since your body beats itself up enough for you already....
ReplyDeleteI love your brutal honesty here. I struggle with being behind a lot. But you're right. Coming to terms with just being behind is a necessity, something I'm still working on.
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