But really, how long does a simple phone call to make a doctor's appointment take? And how much energy?
I guess the truth is I'm afraid.
I want to do something about my brain fog and headaches. And if there's actually something sinister going on inside my head, I really want to do something about it before it gets out of hand.
At the same time, I don't want to know if there's anything wrong. I like my brain. I like that it works.
You see, I grew up thinking I wasn't very smart. It was only when the Academic Dean of the Theological College asked me to change from doing a Bachelor's Degree in Theology to the Grad Dip and Master's Program, that I found out I wasn't dumb. He had to explain to me that someone who got distinctions and high distinctions in the same semester as they had a baby was actually very intelligent. (Of course, when the actual Master's degree was awarded, my mother came to the ceremony and complained that her slow child kept getting degrees when the smart ones didn't finish high school. Which pretty much explains why I'd never thought of myself as particularly intelligent.)
So, having discovered fairly late in life that I was actually intelligent, I came to value my brain very highly. (Yes, I have heard that pride goes before a fall.)
Having it not work properly lately has been scary. The thought that there might be something actually wrong is even scarier.
Lupus has taken so much away from me, physical strength and endurance, health, financial independence, I just really, really, don't want to know if it's taking my intellect as well.
But, I am going to make that appointment. As soon as I publish this post.
This post that I'm finishing about now.
Or very soon.
OK. I'm going.
I'll let you know how it works out.
Yes, I'm still going.
Maybe, I'll just have a coffee before I make the phone call.
. . .
So, have I told you about the Sometimes, it is Lupus Facebook Page? It's had about 500 likes now, and I'm so excited to see so many lupies using it to interract, share information and support each other.
Right, the appointment. I am going....... now.
Update - 10 minutes later....
I made the call. The neurologist I have a referral to has closed his books and is not taking new patients. I'll have to ask for another referral when I see the GP later this week.
Does anyone know a neurologist in Brisbane (preferably northside) who is good with SLE?