I'm still feeling very good physically.
Emotionally, I'm a bit fragile. Mr Wonderful and I broke up. I don't want to say too much about that except to say that there was nothing angry or malicious - I still absolutely adore him, it's just how things are. He is still the person who has been nicer to me than anyone in my life, so any comments critical of him will be deleted, not published.
That said, I'm a bit stressed at the moment.
Normally, I have a standard response to stress. I go to the fridge, open it, and eat everything in it. Then I go to the pantry - when I've run out of food, I'll go on to the ingredients that make up food.
If you've followed my New Year's Resolutions, you know I'm not doing that any more. I'm taking care of myself.
Which means I got to the fridge, looked inside, picked up a block of chocolate the kids had started and stood looking at it. That was the point at which I realised that punishing myself would not help anything at all. A huge eating binge would make me feel better for about five minutes. Then I would feel miserable - I'd beat myself up about being self-destructive as well as for the cause of the stress. I put the chocolate back.
Instead, I spent an inordinate amount of time checking the social networks - twitter, g+, facebook, in case anyone had desperately wanted to talk to me about anything.
Mr 17 suggested I visit one of my best friends who lives near by - but she's on a fabulous holiday in France at the moment. So I texted another friend. We went out for dinner. (I had a lean steak and salad - no dessert and a diet soft drink.) We talked. She was actually the right person to contact because she's one of my oldest friends (not as in age, but as in we've known each other for 25 years.) She knows me very well.
I'm still a bit fragile. I'm still a bit weepy, and I'm sure I will be for some time to come. But I'm also proud of myself here - I've broken a lifetime habit of harming myself with food. I've found a more constructive way to deal with my stress.
So now, I hardly get comments from you, but I want answers to this. What do you do to deal with stress? When a shock comes out of nowhere do you respond by hurting yourself (food, alcohol, gambling - some other "addictive" issue)? Do you go to the gym and sweat it out? Do you sit and cry with your girlfriends? Is there someone who knows you so well you don't have to tell the whole story, they just understand?
I am being gentle with myself this week, extra rest, extra care with my nutrition and exercise. There can be a link between stress and lupus flares - and I need to be very wary of not stressing my body along with my emotions.