I've actually written a comment on this post before...
What BD is talking about here is so very important.
When you're diagnosed with something like lupus, it becomes such a big part of life that it can take over everything. It's hard to keep it in perspective. It's not just that lupies are afraid others won't love us when we're sick, we can feel guilty that they do love us. When I'm so limited in what I can do, when I don't earn a full income any more, when I feel like I don't have so much to offer any more, why would anyone care about me?
And sometimes we find that people do give up on us - because they see the disease and our limitations. (This happens even before diagnosis, sometimes. My ex-husband simply believed I was incredibly lazy. Long after the divorce, when I was diagnosed, he asked me about my condition. I tried to explain how serious it was - and his response was to tell me that "everyone's dying, it's no big deal." Then when he was diagnosed with osteoarthritis in one shoulder he rang me in a panic wanting sympathy, telling me about this horrible condition that can't be cured, etc. It's apparently far worse than anything I can ever have gone through.)
But strangely, wonderfully, there are people who see past our diseases, our limitations, our problems. There are people who still see us as who we are - and still find something in that to love.
There is nothing more precious and wonderful than someone who loves me even knowing that the disease comes as part of the deal.
If you have lupus, make sure to tell the people who love you just how important they are to you.
If you love a lupie, know that on those worst days when the going is really tough on everyone, they are very painfully aware of the extra burden that puts on you.
This post was written as part of NHBPM – 30 health posts in 30 days: http://bit.ly/vU0g9J