Monday, 19 September 2011

Nervous energy

I'm full of nervous energy today, bouncing off the walls. I'm getting lots done.

What's happened?

I went to the doctor last week, with unbearable pain in my shoulder, and some not quite so strong ouchies in other joints as well. She increased my steroids - from 2mg of prednisolone per day to 15mg.

Fifteen milligrams of anything doesn't sound like much does it?  Believe me, with a steroid, it can make a world of differenc

Last week, my shoulder hurt so much I could barely do anything. One of the ladies from my church came around to change and wash my sheets, because I just couldn't do it myself, and to catch up on lots of things around the house that I'd been steadily been getting further and further behind on as the pain had increased.

Today, I feel like I could do anything.  My daughter reminded me how much trouble the nurses and I had trying to get her to settle down when she was in hospital with a fractured skull when she was about 10.  Once she was given steroids, she thought she was supergirl, and it was only when a serious headache settled in that we could get her to stay still.

That's what it's like for me today. You know how Jack Russell Terriers are always just bouncing all over the place? Now imagine one with ADHD. That's what I'm like. This morning I've baked, paid the bills, done three loads of washing, mopped out the laundry, typed a week's worth of jokes on to, done the dishes, cleaned the kitchen, written a card to someone from church who's not well, done some other paperwork, sorted my week's pills, chosen music for Community Care (the church senior citizen's group that meets tomorrow morning), decorated a birthday cake, made a quiche, and written my grocery list.

As I sit to type this, my knee is bouncing up and down.  I'm just not able to stay still.

I'm thinking about 100 times faster than I can type, so if this seems disjointed it's because my brain's always on the next thought before I finish typing this one.

So, in some ways it's great to feel like superwoman. I can get things done, and the things I haven't been able to do have been frustrating.  It's looking like I'll be able to get back to Curves again, after weeks away in pain. (The pain hasn't completely gone, but it's not severe enough to interfere with actually doing anything now.)

But the other side of lupus for me, apart from pain, is fatigue.  All of this energy I'm using is great - but if I don't try to manage it, I'm heading for a big crash. So, after lunch, whether I feel like it or not, I still have to have my afternoon nap.  I will use the relaxation exercise my psychologist gave me, to try to calm down a body and brain that just want to keep go-go-going. I will well and truly need the rest, because although I feel like superwoman, I'm not. As much as I wish I could, I can never forget that I have to stick to a routine to look after my health.

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