Saturday, 24 September 2011

Getting Organised

I keep trying to get control of my life by organising everything.

My smart phone and my computer are synced at least twice per day as I add in appointments and items on the to do list, and tick things off, make notes, etc.

Some of what I'm trying to do is to make sure the things that have to happen do: eg bills being paid, suitcase being packed before I go away next weekend (wait a moment - got to put that on the to do list; and to divert the church phone to our youth worker instead of me... I'll be right back.)

OK, that's on the to do list.

Now, I've got to remember the chemist tomorrow after church - give me a second... I'm back - that shopping list's done, I know what I need. Oh wait. ... Back again. I had to add to my to do list that I have to take new prescriptions in to the chemist with me (they store the repeats so I can't lose them when I'm suffering from brain fog.)

I've just realised I haven't put reminder dates on some items - so that the phone and computer automatically remind me I have them coming up. That's very important.

So why is it important?

Firstly, because otherwise, I'd have bits of paper and post-it notes all over the house. (Sometimes I do anyway.) I'd carry a huge diary and an equally huge notebook and be always scrambling through them. And even then, I'd forget any number of things I really need to do.

If I'm not organised, things get out of hand. That's partly because of brain fog - I just forget that I have to do things. It's partly because of depression (which goes hand-in-hand with lupus for me) and my brain just decides it's not processing any more.

When I'm exhausted or in pain, it all gets too much, and unless the list is in front of me,  I can forget that I actually can achieve some things. Ticking off the list tells me I'm not completely hopeless or helpless. If I had the energy to pay the phone bill online - I achieved something important, and that tick on the list tells me I did it.

Keeping a careful diary means I'm not trying to be at the church and the doctor at the same time, and dropping a kid somewhere else at exactly the same time. The more organised I can make myself, the less stressed I feel.

The other thing about keeping everything as organised as possible, is that it gives me the feeling that I'm in control of some small part of my life.  So much of my life just is not any way I would have planned it. I have to accept that, and live the life God has given me. But I have this little bit of power over how I will organise my days and that is precious.

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